Sudah SATU bulan =D

Shall I said is a rude awakening?? I can't believe time flies and it has been a month I'm into my internship now. Without realizing, initially, until I was reminded by a senior process engineer this morning whereby I am going to have a presentation next week on the progress of my work *deadmeat*. I hope I won't get nervous in front of all the managers and engineers during the usual morning briefing :x. So far, training was ok and I'm quite used to going in to the clean room and putting on into a jumpsuit and getting ready to go on board to the space (just kidding). Well, currently there will be more major projects coming along the way and my task would be assisting my supervisor (process bond engineer) on the improvements and problems resolution on wire bond process in Integrated Circuit (IC) manufacturing. Will be cracking my head now and then on how to actually create an identification to indicate the batch recognition from which machine it was produced. It would be a major project for the company and I just hope that I could see the outcomes in the end of my training =D.

Uploaded some pictures though...ssshhh..I sneak my phone for some photos...if anyone finds out, my cellphone will kena arrest..

The access pass, the punch card, the lunch card...all in one...

woot!! I look terrible...

wanna join me on board??

The 1st Week that Hurt MoSt...

As usual...time flies. The entire 1 week was the most painful, most quiet..ever ever ever most empty that I'd ever felt in my 22 years of life...it has never been so very lonely before. I might pretend that there's nothing had happened..I just laugh lively as usual but inside me, I felt that my soul had just been torn..ripped off..is killing me inside out. I could not even cry when I really want to do that..is like I'm stuck, suffocated...hmmm...what I just actually do to make myself felt better for the 1st week is to binge eating until I felt like throwing up. I did tell myself that I should just be sad for a week..only 1 week..but seems that each days just passed and I could not even get over it and continue with the habit..what should I do? There's no one and the fact that I have no one to listen to me and keep me strong anymore..what should I do now? Each day that passed, I just lived in the memories of the past that I could not erase it off my mind. Thinking and going to the old places could just simply put a smile on my face where I think back how the happier times we spent together. Is even more painful realizing that this time around the year is our first anniversary and I just can't help it but everything that I did, reminds me of him. Tonight while writing this post, is the exact 1 week that I lose him as my other half..and perhaps..I wished that I could end this week only with sadness and start anew from tomorrow onwards...After all, my heart still stays with him...he's still the one..he's still the one that mean everything although I might someday be forgotten and I might no longer mean a thing in his life...I'll still hold on on the promises made...I will...always...

~I Will Always Love You~

If I
Should stay
I would only be in your way
So I'll go
But I know
I'll think of you every step of
the way

And I...
Will always
Love you....
Will always
Love you
You
My darling you...

Bittersweet
Memories
That is all I'm taking with me
So good-bye
Please don't cry
We both know I'm not what you
You need

And I...
Will always love you
I...
Will always love you
You...

I hope
life treats you kind
And I hope
you have all you've dreamed of
And I wish you joy
and happiness
But above all this
I wish you love

And I...
Will always love you
I...
Will always love you...

I, I will always love
You....
You
Darling I love you
I'll always
I'll always
Love
You..

Life Goes On....

Writing this post in a complete different feelings now. Felt like things just could no longer be the same anymore. I just miss this time around of last year. Those are the times full with joy, spirit and sparkling new day waiting ahead back then. Well, finally, we've remain as friends after a year and 2 days. Perhaps, is better to be this way rather than either of us suffering emotionally. Finally, things made clear. Although I still felt deeply for him, I should respect and accept whatever decision made. He's right. We need some time off. He need it...and same to me...I need time too. Basically, is just too difficult for both of us when there's hardly "we" time. Anyway, just couldn't believed how situation just changed and fell apart in exactly a year time. Regardless of that, I'll still treasure all the good times we'd spent together...it would always remain in my heart. Although I didn't really express much, deep in me, my heart ache but I have no more tears to cry now...there's too much tears rolling along these past weeks and maybe it just dried up. Whatever that come next, I will just let fate decide. I'll still wait and let just see what's God's decision...is all in God's hand now. I'll move on and allowed some space for myself...huhuhu..maybe I should start worrying on more crucial things now..I still have 100 over machine waiting in 5 lines to be checked...is gonna be a dark monday blues..haiizzz...

Please..Give me the strength to move on...

Oh my..I am so very tired. I felt so exhausted. I'm sick... Worst when I felt that I'm so lost now. I felt lifeless, empty..hmmm..I just do not know how exactly to describe the emotions. Where..where..where.?? When I need the one that I hope would be by my side most during this period is no longer there? What am I suppose to do? I could not even said..mention...or show any bits of the sorrows...the pain I'm in...or I can't even cry to anyone now. Why will I end up this way? I felt suffocated..I suffers...I felt the pain on my chest...I felt it in my heart..I felt it emotionally...I even started to binge eating to cover the pain I felt...I'm alone...I'm hiding..there's no one even noticed how terrible I felt...at times I just hope to sleep and never wanna wake up...I'm in pain...I need the strength to keep me going...to keep me sane...ooo..please guide me...please come to me..please give me the light...just as it used to be last time..I can no longer stand strong like this...

I need you....

Internship in Spansion

Today was the second day of training in Spansion (KL). Yesterday was the first day and first week of a twenty weeks of my industrial attachment programme. Generally, for the first week, there were mainly briefings. The environment is ok there..extra clean for a manufacturing plant I used to see. Probably is the nature of the products which required cleanliness and static free condition to prevent contamination on the ICs. It was like a ermm.."a hospital minus the disinfectant smell" or shall I said is like "a maze" in there. Nearly got lost initially but got used to it after a few walks. I was assigned to the assembly department specifically on the bond process of IC manufacturing. The briefings were all on the production and assembly processes as well as the general knowledge that is needed before each of us were handed to the respective engineers. There are 2 lines involved in the assembly department, one is FOL (Front of Line) and the other is EOL (End of Line). I will be in the Front Line of the assembly process where cleanliness is essential. So...I'll be working in a clean room for the entire half a year! I just hope I'll get used to the attire or what we called jumpsuit very soon. Hmm..is like I was about to fly to the moon upon entering this site of production where one can see each other's eyes and forehead only. Prior to entering this site, we were required to take an "air shower", then got dressed in a jumpsuit, booties, hairnet, face mask, glooves and a pair of clean shoes. Then, we'll have to ensure that our body is static-free and another round of air shower is needed after completely dressed. Hmm...so, it would be a routine for me later as I'll be sticking to this site of plant to complete my training and tasks assigned to me. On the other hand, EOL was not that strict on cleanliness. What is required there is only a "smock" and a cap upon entering the EOL area. Tristan got this site of assembly process (EOL) under the molding process and his lucky not to have to dress like me everyday in a jumpsuit :X Will have updates with photos later because we were not allow to capture photos with our own cameras. Strictly have to use their camera. Hehehe...