The day after tonight...

I'm afraid...too afraid....just too afraid.....beyond afraid...
No other words best describe...
I'm putting a smile...but does any human know how much my heart aches...how bitter it is???
There were so many things disturbing...
There were so many problems that kept in this fragile heart of mine....
I thought that I won't be shedding a single tears after all...

but why is it tougher to do than crying??
Is like weeping straight from my heart.....
I don't find any meaning of life and is so empty with tonnes of things that can't be solved....

Just too afraid of it.....will I go through it??

~The Color of the Night~

"The Color Of The Night"

You and I moving in the dark

Bodies close but souls apart

Shadowed smiles and secrets unrevealed

I need to know the way you feel

I'll give you everything I am

And everything I want to be

I'll put it in your hands

If you could open up to me oh

Can't we ever get beyond this wall

'Cause all I want is just once

To see you in the light

But you hide behind

The color of the night

I can't go on running from the past

Love has torn away this mask

And now like clouds like rain I'm drowning and

I blame it all on you

I'm lost - God save me...

'Cause all I want is just once

To see you in the light

But you hide behind

The color of the night

'Cause all I want is just once

Forever and again

I'm waiting for you, I'm standing in the light

But you hide behind

The color of the night

Please come out from

The color of the night

!!!!!

今年娘娘说....:

There will be a lot of 小人 by my side. Well, that is not a wonder to me as I knew that there are a lot of 小人 all this while. Especially those who are "too free", who have nothing to do after they eat rice....the one who like to talk about people behind. Guess those people like to smell people's backside I suppose. Oh pleaseee, so free after eating, find some good deed to do. Mind those people that, there is such thing as respect towards others. Just not to be too harsh of my words, I still believe in karma. Please for those, take a mirror and have some self reflection of yourself first and what you are up to. Reflect back of your doings, treatment towards others, the words that came out from your mouth and have some self-enlightenment, before you have the rights to jaga tepi kain orang!!!

For me, I'll just remain neutral and free as if nothing happened for that I believe of what goes around comes around..but...I'll never have a good impression towards those, only that, to add up a thicker barrier in front my eyes, mind and speech!!!

Period.

C'est La Vie

That's Life...yeah...That's Life...

That's life when life begin to change while you are just in the beginning to like it...
That's life when you have to stop loving a person that meant the universe to you...
That's life when a person have to stop loving you while life begin to change...
That's life when two person that were madly in love, but can't be together...
That's life when letting go is the only choice...
That's life when there were no way out at all...
That's life when you start to question of why things can't be as easy for a smooth sail...
That's life when we always failed to satisfied ourselves, our needs...
That's life when nothing is perfect...
That's life when words can't really describe how tough life as it is.........

C'est La Vie~~~

Forty-One Days of Hiatus

Signs of abandoning you again. Sorry sorry dear bloggie. Guess the entire 1 month and 10 days were too passive. Totally ran out of ideas and thoughts. Probably, I'd reached a level with no thoughts and opinions at all. Well, I just need to start the ball rolling again...for it to spin to higher velocity and things would just speed up, ideas will just flow, thinking will just turned to be critical....

I just hope to stay focused in everything that I should be responsible with. Have heart and stay focus. Listen to what dad and mom said. I knew they have high hopes in me. I knew that I should be striving for the best...to make them proud. Apart of that, I hope I can control my emotions and temper properly....

“What happens when two people fall in love? They don’t shout at each other but talk softly. Why? Because their hearts are very close. The distance between them is very small.

This is the answer to a question that pop up a few days ago. I guess this is the reason why and indeed, is very true. Somehow, talking to friends are different in the sense of voice tone and expression than to your other half. Probably is the attachment, "an invisible string" that tied to each others heart. Sometimes, miraculously, no words are needed. Only just by plainly looking at each others will do best with the million sense of relief. That's love. In which the other half can indirectly push the "on" button in one's heart....

So it goes like:

ONCE a professor asked his students: “Why do we shout in anger? Why do people shout at each other when they are upset?” The students thought for a while before one of them said: “We shout because we lose our calm.”

“But why shout when the other person is just next to you? Isn’t it possible to speak to him or her with a soft voice?”

The students gave various answers, none of which satisfied the professor.

Finally he explained: “When two people are angry with each other, their hearts distance. To cover that distance they must shout to be able to hear each other. The angrier they are, the louder they will have to shout to hear each other through that great distance.”

Then he asked: “What happens when two people fall in love? They don’t shout at each other but talk softly. Why? Because their hearts are very close. The distance between them is very small.

“When they love each other even more, what happens? They do not speak – they only whisper and get closer to each other in their love.

“Finally they do not even need to whisper. They only look at each other, that’s all. That is how close two people are when they love each other.”

So, when you argue, do not let your hearts get distant or say words that distance each other even more, or there may come a day when the distance is so great you will not find the path back to each other.

1.1.11

Happy New Year 2011~!!!!

Wishing my family, my friends and whoever whom I care or whoever that care for me, a blessed great year ahead with good health, happiness and good wealth.

As for me, new year is just another day after the date of 31st December marking the end of the cycle in a calender year. The one that really make significant difference is that how we are determine to change and written the this so called "new chapter or resolution". Is all in our own hands of changing things and making a difference regardless whether is a new year or not. We can changed things even it could be in the same year itself. Nothing is moved if we refused to moved forward...

Anyway, this year new year is like the same old new year. I stayed at home listening to the sound of fireworks. Guess, I am not the type that really liked to be in the spot of counting down. Probably I can't find a bunch of really crazy clicks for me to join in to do crazy stuff. Else, I would really love it so much to spend the quiet nights at home with my family all around...and this is the warmth that always comfort me so much.

Will be spending 1st of January 2011 at Prai, Penang. My cousin brother is having his wedding reception over there. Sigh. Kinda tired actually because this week itself I've travelled so many miles. Going to and fro Malacca to Shah Alam to Malacca to Seremban to Malacca to Shah Alam to Penang to Shah Alam and finally to Malacca on very very early of Monday morning due to the first 9am first class of the new semester....

Anyhow, I hope I would picked up myself again after all the things..and looking forward for things to flow =))