~When it is yours, it is yours; When it is not yours, it won't be yours eventually~

Almost forgotten about this principle. Certain time, humans always have this enviousness towards what other humans owned. At a point, we'll have to stop and try looking at things at another perspective. Why do we need to envy of what they have or whatever luck they have? God and fate created each of us differently in different way. Be proud of what you owned and be sure to work hard and think of ways of owning the dreams that you dream of...just with your own little hands and with the strength of your own bones. Trying to get something not belonging to you could invite unwanted outcomes not now but in near future or worst, dragged to other generation. My dad is always the wise man that said "I am stingy of my wealth, but, I won't aimed and greedy at other people's wealth not belonging to me". Because, without reason of trying to cheat others won't do any good. I can say, good for the cheater now...but disastrous for his/her offspring. There was this story I heard from my parents. Is a story of a lady in Pusing, Perak. Long long ago, during the communist period, she have found a good wealth buried in the forest and the source of this wealth is actually from all the hard earned wealth of the villagers. She took it and made it hers and need not think of being poor again for the rest of her life. Yeap...after the hard times of the war and all that in the period of pre-independence, people suffers and hardly made few cents a day to made some food on the table for their children. Yet, with the unintentional wealth she have, she make it through easily. Nevertheless, the bad karma is seen in 3 of the generation of her offspring. So, this story left a really deep impact on myself and never to have something not belonging to you. Remember about bad karma. What goes around comes around...and not in one or two folds...probably in tenth-folds...

~Run Serene Run~

At a point I felt like running away to somewhere I could hide. I don't want to bother of any thing, any matter. I want to be the coward that hide in the shell. I want to runaway to somewhere that I won't have to think of all the things that I have to deal with. I want to sleep. I don't want to wake up. I'm dead tired. What am I suppose to do? :'"( I'm not motivated. I don't want to face the reality. I don't want people to judge me always. I'm a human too..an ordinary human.

above above
^^^The true colors of me ^^^

It spins and spins and spins and spins....

Another post in less than 90 minutes. I'm really really tired with the long night yesterday and today and having to sleep only 1 hour this morning. Tried to take a short nap half and hour ago but as I lay myself on my comfy newly-changed bedsheets bed, I felt really cold and down with a runny-nose. It is not that, that disturb my sleep. I realize that I've been staring above the ceiling on the fan spinning, spinning and spinning. As it spins, I can felt myself dropped into a time capsule bringing me back to things that happened, faces and people I met a year ago. Not to forget the promising and happier times that me and him shared together with his family. That was only a year ago. I can't believe reality and fate could really be so cruel. Never to notice, a lot of things could no longer be the same in just 9 months. I've started to accept that we'll never meant to be together although initially it is felt the sparks are there to stay forever and beyond. We both accepted that we'll never meant to be together anymore despite how close or how much me missed each other. Time changes everything. Things just don't go its way, is like two paths that crossed at the beginning and eventually the paths were diverted into two different way. You'll never want supports when you needed most. Probably is too complicated for me to understand and often, it would be the topic of quarrel to us, and mostly, it is all buried in your heart. After the months, so many things happened and at times I'm wondering what was your feeling every now and then. Today, I realized that you have lost another most important person in your life a few months back, after your mom passed-away when you're 16. Is really an unexpected and disturbing news to me after getting to know from someone close to you. Seems that everything go down south and right now, I'm only be able to pray and hope that you'll be okay and just go on with life no matter what and for the sake of your little boy. Be strong and turn the rough days to better days. Will always here to pray and to wish that you'll be okay and let the tough gets going in your life.

Ahhh...achoo...

Oh great. Runny nose again. Seems like my body have a really weak immune system now. Sekejap runny nose...sekejap headache. I've been complaining about frequent headaches to my mom and she made a conclusion that the cause of it is the lack of workouts and joggings. Somehow the sweating could detoxify and build a stronger immune system towards any infection. I guess is true and I found myself to be lethargic and feeling unwell apart from gaining weight after stopping the workouts for quite some time. Hmmm...probably my parents are healthier than me in relative with age factor. I could felt the shortness of breath and my legs are shivering after climbing nearly 10 or 11 floors up the staircase in the First World Hotel last week. Suprisingly, with my dad and mom's age, they still could do so without any complains. So...relatively, i'm old. Anyway, mid semester break gonna be over very very soon and to be exact, merely 60 hours left. Kinda do nothing for the past few days and I don't even know where had all the time went missing. Time flies. Sometimes, when I'm not given enough time, I complained. Sometimes, when I'm given ample of time, I can't get anything done despite the heaps of time. Is that what we call "not appreciative"? Yeah..human...humans are greedy creatures. Not knowing how to appreciate when something is by their side and only to notice and regret it when certain things had gone forever from their lives. Anyway, I'm back to Malacca again with the 72 hours left. I was supposed to be here yesterday evening but didn't make it last minute after my mom and brother persuaded me to stay another night. Till today morning mom still reluctant to let me go back and she wished that I would stay a little longer and yeah, my brother's prediction of today's morning rain is right. It rained cats and dogs when I was about to go out around near 7 am, so I didn't make it on time and waited for an hour ++ . Is still raining and it rained the entire journey back to Malacca and the heaviest as usual was at Seremban. I wonder..raining..will it be a good sign? I'd read it somewhere that when the rain started to fall when you are about to go out signify a good indication. Well, hopefully it is, though is a little superstitious. The journey today is dragging long as I'm driving slowly and no speeding at all, afraid that I'll be fined. After reaching my 2nd home here at Malacca around 10am, without further hesitation, I cleaned it and shine it though is not that dirty. =D Maybe is the upbringing of my parents since I'm young that I was trained to clean our own room and household. It made me comfortable and felt satisfied when all the area were clean and smells good. Haha! Frankly, I can't stand dirty floors, dirty kitchen and dirty toilets!! As a result, after all the loading, cleaning and unloading jobs, I felt my back aching. Probably packing and shifting up and down the stairs last night and the most taxing part is dis-assembling and assembling my desktop PC which is mataphored as "Elephant" by my dad and "Giant" by my big bro. Wuahaha.. Anyhow, all back to normal now, with the table setting and the room setting and then next, grrr.....don't know how bad I'll suffer to complete the mountain of projects and assignments...

didadidadidadi =D

The Switch...

Often....all the postings or shout-outs I blah out was something that is really dark, pain and empty. There was once, I said "Is dark..getting darker and empty and I'm afraid". So...there goes a friend who naively said "Switch on the lights, my dear so it won't be darker anymore"...and I said "The world would be a better place if we could just switch on the light with a switch". This friend replied to me "oh dear...but we must find out where is the switch...don't worry...you'll find the switch". Actually what this friend meant was totally true. When is dark, you'll have to search for the switch and light up the light of life again. So in this post, two lessons learnt; one is about the "switch" lesson and the other is about the switch - switching a faded black and white and gloomy blog of mine into brighter, cheerful colors. Incredible of how I relate this word "SWITCH" in 3 different terms (Switch = action on or off, Switch = plug, Switch = change). Just like life, there will be a problem but the solutions can be of many ways. Here it goes, gave my bloggie a face lift over-nightly and so long to the old dark and black template. Though, black for me is still an elegant color, but, think is time to change for some cheerful and tranquil colors. Cheerful colors definitely has the power to bring optimism outlook towards myself, the life, the days ahead and anyone that drop by here.

The switch case and also the human case:

We're all the SAME because we're all DifFer3nt!!!

~~~Happy Malaysia Day to all Malaysian~~~

A Hair Cut....again...

The last time I cut-off my long hair, everyone was so surprised or shall I use the word "shocked" and start asking me what's the urge to make me do such "rapid" decision and my answer was "I'm not happy with life, so I cut it off, short. And isn't it better in this style?" Well, probably a hair cut that I've never thought of, is something that resembles of forgetting the past and all the emotional thingy. And also to forget that he likes me in long hair. Well, I guess most men like ladies in long hair. I used to be keeping long hair (never fail to be over my shoulders and the longest was to my waist) and an occasional trimming to get rid of the split-ends. At that very sudden, I just want it to be short and just let go of it, additionally with some style. People said that the hair reflects so much of one's internal life - and what's going on with them emotionally. So don't believe when a girl cuts her hair all off or completely restyles it and yet denies there's anything going on. Bet that some sort of emotional change is taking place and usually a dramatic cut reflects a whole new phase of life and to forget something that is troubling them. So from the past 6 months, I've started to have short hair (just touching shoulders) and kept a promise to keep it long for now. I wished to keep it long again and it would be awesome having long hair in the convocation rob and mortar board. Hmmm...but I think is difficult to make it grow back in a short interval and indeed it takes time for the growing process...and after 6 months of the shortest cut, I cut it again, today :O Probably felt good having short hair and hopefully I won't have the intention to cut it again till next year. =D

Hunched-Back

Is it a sign of me getting old? My back hurts and is getting more hunch now. I blame it on the way I sit to do my stuff. And my posture. And gaining back almost all my weight.

Hmm...and stopping the long distance run, perhaps. I should salute myself for being able to run 10km in an hour each day. So I wonder when I can put my feet back and start doing that again....

lololololo :D