Monday, December 21, 2009

Sudah SATU bulan =D

Shall I said is a rude awakening?? I can't believe time flies and it has been a month I'm into my internship now. Without realizing, initially, until I was reminded by a senior process engineer this morning whereby I am going to have a presentation next week on the progress of my work *deadmeat*. I hope I won't get nervous in front of all the managers and engineers during the usual morning briefing :x. So far, training was ok and I'm quite used to going in to the clean room and putting on into a jumpsuit and getting ready to go on board to the space (just kidding). Well, currently there will be more major projects coming along the way and my task would be assisting my supervisor (process bond engineer) on the improvements and problems resolution on wire bond process in Integrated Circuit (IC) manufacturing. Will be cracking my head now and then on how to actually create an identification to indicate the batch recognition from which machine it was produced. It would be a major project for the company and I just hope that I could see the outcomes in the end of my training =D.

Uploaded some pictures though...ssshhh..I sneak my phone for some photos...if anyone finds out, my cellphone will kena arrest..

The access pass, the punch card, the lunch card...all in one...


woot!! I look terrible...


wanna join me on board??


Saturday, December 19, 2009

The 1st Week that Hurt MoSt...

As usual...time flies. The entire 1 week was the most painful, most quiet..ever ever ever most empty that I'd ever felt in my 22 years of life...it has never been so very lonely before. I might pretend that there's nothing had happened..I just laugh lively as usual but inside me, I felt that my soul had just been torn..ripped off..is killing me inside out. I could not even cry when I really want to do that..is like I'm stuck, suffocated...hmmm...what I just actually do to make myself felt better for the 1st week is to binge eating until I felt like throwing up. I did tell myself that I should just be sad for a week..only 1 week..but seems that each days just passed and I could not even get over it and continue with the habit..what should I do? There's no one and the fact that I have no one to listen to me and keep me strong anymore..what should I do now? Each day that passed, I just lived in the memories of the past that I could not erase it off my mind. Thinking and going to the old places could just simply put a smile on my face where I think back how the happier times we spent together. Is even more painful realizing that this time around the year is our first anniversary and I just can't help it but everything that I did, reminds me of him. Tonight while writing this post, is the exact 1 week that I lose him as my other half..and perhaps..I wished that I could end this week only with sadness and start anew from tomorrow onwards...After all, my heart still stays with him...he's still the one..he's still the one that mean everything although I might someday be forgotten and I might no longer mean a thing in his life...I'll still hold on on the promises made...I will...always...


~I Will Always Love You~

If I
Should stay
I would only be in your way
So I'll go
But I know
I'll think of you every step of
the way

And I...
Will always
Love you....
Will always
Love you
You
My darling you...

Bittersweet
Memories
That is all I'm taking with me
So good-bye
Please don't cry
We both know I'm not what you
You need

And I...
Will always love you
I...
Will always love you
You...

I hope
life treats you kind
And I hope
you have all you've dreamed of
And I wish you joy
and happiness
But above all this
I wish you love

And I...
Will always love you
I...
Will always love you...

I, I will always love
You....
You
Darling I love you
I'll always
I'll always
Love
You..

Saturday, December 12, 2009

Life Goes On....

Writing this post in a complete different feelings now. Felt like things just could no longer be the same anymore. I just miss this time around of last year. Those are the times full with joy, spirit and sparkling new day waiting ahead back then. Well, finally, we've remain as friends after a year and 2 days. Perhaps, is better to be this way rather than either of us suffering emotionally. Finally, things made clear. Although I still felt deeply for him, I should respect and accept whatever decision made. He's right. We need some time off. He need it...and same to me...I need time too. Basically, is just too difficult for both of us when there's hardly "we" time. Anyway, just couldn't believed how situation just changed and fell apart in exactly a year time. Regardless of that, I'll still treasure all the good times we'd spent together...it would always remain in my heart. Although I didn't really express much, deep in me, my heart ache but I have no more tears to cry now...there's too much tears rolling along these past weeks and maybe it just dried up. Whatever that come next, I will just let fate decide. I'll still wait and let just see what's God's decision...is all in God's hand now. I'll move on and allowed some space for myself...huhuhu..maybe I should start worrying on more crucial things now..I still have 100 over machine waiting in 5 lines to be checked...is gonna be a dark monday blues..haiizzz...

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Please..Give me the strength to move on...

Oh my..I am so very tired. I felt so exhausted. I'm sick... Worst when I felt that I'm so lost now. I felt lifeless, empty..hmmm..I just do not know how exactly to describe the emotions. Where..where..where.?? When I need the one that I hope would be by my side most during this period is no longer there? What am I suppose to do? I could not even said..mention...or show any bits of the sorrows...the pain I'm in...or I can't even cry to anyone now. Why will I end up this way? I felt suffocated..I suffers...I felt the pain on my chest...I felt it in my heart..I felt it emotionally...I even started to binge eating to cover the pain I felt...I'm alone...I'm hiding..there's no one even noticed how terrible I felt...at times I just hope to sleep and never wanna wake up...I'm in pain...I need the strength to keep me going...to keep me sane...ooo..please guide me...please come to me..please give me the light...just as it used to be last time..I can no longer stand strong like this...

I need you....

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Internship in Spansion

Today was the second day of training in Spansion (KL). Yesterday was the first day and first week of a twenty weeks of my industrial attachment programme. Generally, for the first week, there were mainly briefings. The environment is ok there..extra clean for a manufacturing plant I used to see. Probably is the nature of the products which required cleanliness and static free condition to prevent contamination on the ICs. It was like a ermm.."a hospital minus the disinfectant smell" or shall I said is like "a maze" in there. Nearly got lost initially but got used to it after a few walks. I was assigned to the assembly department specifically on the bond process of IC manufacturing. The briefings were all on the production and assembly processes as well as the general knowledge that is needed before each of us were handed to the respective engineers. There are 2 lines involved in the assembly department, one is FOL (Front of Line) and the other is EOL (End of Line). I will be in the Front Line of the assembly process where cleanliness is essential. So...I'll be working in a clean room for the entire half a year! I just hope I'll get used to the attire or what we called jumpsuit very soon. Hmm..is like I was about to fly to the moon upon entering this site of production where one can see each other's eyes and forehead only. Prior to entering this site, we were required to take an "air shower", then got dressed in a jumpsuit, booties, hairnet, face mask, glooves and a pair of clean shoes. Then, we'll have to ensure that our body is static-free and another round of air shower is needed after completely dressed. Hmm...so, it would be a routine for me later as I'll be sticking to this site of plant to complete my training and tasks assigned to me. On the other hand, EOL was not that strict on cleanliness. What is required there is only a "smock" and a cap upon entering the EOL area. Tristan got this site of assembly process (EOL) under the molding process and his lucky not to have to dress like me everyday in a jumpsuit :X Will have updates with photos later because we were not allow to capture photos with our own cameras. Strictly have to use their camera. Hehehe...

Sunday, November 29, 2009

Tearless Cries..

Living in the dark...lonely..cold. How long would I stay like this? How could I get myself back again. I don't want to pretend that I'm fine all the while when I'm not at all deep in my heart. I'm tired..this is real..I am...I'm tired..I'm really...I promise myself not to say the "tired" word...I don't want the meaning of "tired" exist in my dictionary...but..I don't want to hide and cry alone when I'm alone..Is completely painful.. Tell me..how should I get my feet back on the ground again? How should I? Pleaseee help me...I'm in pain..pleaaseee, i'm begging...my heart aches...I felt lifeless...I...God please help and guide me...

Friday, November 27, 2009

Assure me that it would be FINE, please...

I found myself to post very frequent lately...to blah about what's happening around me..hmm..guess this is the only place I can express my thoughts now ='( I've waited too long already for the one that I wished to hear most from but nope, not at all...where's the one that I needed most?...or at least the words I need...that I still mean a thing or a portion in his life after all the times...moments...hmmmmmmm...I miss him and I need him to keep me warm...safe...assurance..maybe he don't even know...hmmm...
Anyway, for the time-being, the crucial thing is, I just want everything to be fine, everyone to be well, healthy and happy. That's what I hope the most..especially for mom to get well very very very very soon. I just don't want her to suffer after all the things that she's been going through with her health deteriorating in the past months...keeping my fingers crossed and praying hard for her to fully recover from the inflammation she got in her stomach. We'll never thought how would h. pylori a bacteria which she was infected with when young could caused all these today. Brought mom to gastroenterology clinic this morning for an endoscopic scan. The scan confirmed positive of the present of helicobacter pylori bacteria and it has infected the wall of the her stomach, eventually causing inflammation. Hmm..the inflammation explained the symptoms of her complaining of feeling dizzy, stomach discomfort, weak and all sorts of illness including the rapid weight loss all the while she's experiencing . At least now, the reason is known and the causes of all the sickness is partly answered. By the way, according to the doctor, this bacteria is contagious and run in a family and it could remain unknown in the body until either tests were done or when there are symptoms shown in later stage for an individual which has been infected..so the doctor recommended that me and my dear sis go for a blood test as well because the possibilities of being infected were high...haiizz..guess I'll take the test later. Still, early detection is better to avoid scarring of the stomach or even to prevent more serious condition (I do not want to mention it at all)..haizz..pity mom..we're worried of her condition..and she's even more worried and thinking all sorts of things lately...I just want her to be well like how things used to be...*sighh*


Thursday, November 26, 2009

An old wound that never heals..bleeding harder now...

A wound that never heals, just it has been bandaged all this while...Now, this wound started to bleed again very profusely and growing bigger, larger. It hurts..incredibly extremely painful...no one knows..It hurts so much..unbearable pain that tears just keep falling each and everyday for the extreme pain felt from it....
I felt cold, dark, insecure...there's not even words now..no..not at all..
Is it too much that I asked for for just some words to show you care...or answers that I know I'm still important to you...maybe I don't understand you enough...but but..under the circumstances, you could just simply show some loves..maybe one or two of loves that I know I still mean a thing to you...maybe I don't deserved the loves...i don't...maybe someone else did whoever knows...there's nothing you did to assure me..nothing...All the time, I don't even know if I keep you strong...and maybe I'm invisible whoever knows...
There's too much tears that falls now....and I just can hope..only hope...that my feelings would be answered someday...that someday you could care enough to slowly stitch the wound back with simply some words...or maybe the someday will never comes whoever knows...
Because..deep in me, you are still my everything and always be...and I'll always love you even maybe someday when I realize that I mean nothing to you...even you think that I'm just a "passer-by" in your life whoever knows....
Falling for only once and never in this life again..never...

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

F.R.I.E.N.D.S

The silence would make me feels empty. The emptiness would make me feels lonely. The loneliness would kills me inside out. Grateful to have a great bunch of buddies..they are the reason for me to hold on to something that me myself not sure of..their words, their encouragements, their advices, their cares, how they make me see things in a different way so I won't stray too far from the sidewalk...friends are friends forever...
The words would always be in my mind and memory and it would be played over and over again like films playing without sound...


"Live for today because today is a present...do not always think about what's gonna happen in future...be happy for the present cause is a blessings to have these great moments now"

"Why do you always think about the wrongfulness he did and all the sorrows that happened in between both of you...where have all the happier times, moments that both of you spent together gone to? C'mon..think of it"

"Do not always mentioned the 'maybe' word...it shows that you are doubting on all the feelings..be sure of it"

"Live, Love, Laugh"

"What goes around comes around"

"Love me for who I am, not what I am"

"I will always love him and miss him although he mean the world to me yet I mean nothing to him..because I'll only love once and no one could replaced him nor changes my feelings towards him"

"Follow your heart as long as you are happy with it"

"How could I move on when even letting go is hard now"

"Is not worth to let a tiny friction destroyed our friendship built all these years..is just not worth"

"Hardwork is the one that stays forever"


This was only part of the words you have my dear..there were whole loads of it that I'll never forget. Thank you. Thank you for being a great friend by me all these years. Although how our lives have changed in these past few months, something won't change at all..our friendship...it would stays..We will be happy and live our lives to the fullest...smile always!! =D

~Our dads are proud of their daughters... =p~



Monday, November 23, 2009

Weeping HEART through the Days, Crying EYES through the Nights...


~Why Didn't YOU...~


What am I fighting for
I don't really understand
You're not there anymore
To simply hold my hand

A lover I found in you
But also the greatest friend indeed
You've taught me so much
I can't give you up, for it is you that I need...
it's you you you you and only you..

I've blossomed in many ways
But now I've lost so much
So much strength you gave me
With simply a soft touch

Good news or bad
Or simply for advice
I could always count on you
But now I think twice

I keep looking at my phone
But it just doesn't ring
Not even a buzz
A text it doesn't bring

Those moments were so very often
But now have become extremely rare
Words is ALL we have between us
To show how much we care

You are incredibly wonderful
And to me so fine
But why can't you stop and say hello
Seconds it would only be nine

It only takes phone call
Your voice is what I need
The most important thing you took away from me
My greatest desire you no longer feed

It sounds too simple
Wanting to hear your voice
This path we have explored
Was both of our choice

I have the greatest respect for you
Having always praised you for your ways
But somehow I fell off of your heavy plate
And I don't hear from you for so many days

I need you so much…
I can't begin to explain

I would wait a lifetime
For a moment with you
But not knowing when I'll see you
Tears me up in two

I don't want to hurt you
Or ever cause you any pain
But it definitely hurts me
For you always think I complain

I'm so very confused
Words I simply need to hear
Or even just some shares of words
Words that bring me relieve…
Words that make me felt secure…
Words that let me know that I’m still keeping you strong...
Words that make me feel I’m still important to you…

There’s nothing left in me but tears keep rolling…
From my HEART in the days that passed…
and from my EYES through the cold cold nights I slept through….

Sometimes...

Sometimes I reach out,
Stretching my hands towards the sun
(In front of my eyes)

The light decieves me
Every so often,
As is if I could see the color clearly.

Sometimes I reach out,
Stretching my hands towards the moon
(In front of my eyes)

A small glimmer of light for
every so often,
I still know I am here.

Sometimes I reach out,
Stretching my hands towards something
(In front of my eyes)

Every so often, it hurts..
because most of the time I reach out
no one happens to be there..

Is Money Everything??

In the good old days, people often said money is not everything. But love, family ties and all the values which money can't buy is worth more. Hmmm...but now...maybe people's perception and mindset changed. They have to be materialistic and realistic because money is the one that buys everything including health. It is said that money is everything now for the survival in this complicated world, society, living. Short of $$$ is where all the problems and quarrels start even in a family itself...or maybe people will just come to look for you when you have the financial power...Perhaps, I should believed now that money is everything. Hmmm..I just can't believe how a big quarrel happened..all because of money. All those extra harsh words uttered..words that really break the hearts..words that never should come out...all the affections of 30+ years has just gone like that. Sometimes, I don't know...hmm..mom is not well and all she want is a little more attention and care from dad..but all he did was..hmmm..starting a quarrel all the time...tears keep flowing..not just from the eyes but from the heart and all the heartache came because of $$$ issues..even a tiny issue turns out big...hmm...yada yada yada...

mood: heartbroken

Sunday, November 22, 2009

Time Flies

Without realizing, it's been a week after I finished the last paper. Time just past like that and at times, I felt useless and uneasy for not doing anything meaningful at all in my days when I have break..hmm..perhaps the entire week I should just get some good rest before starting a completely new working life as an intern. Maybe in the coming days my life would just revolves around going to work in the morning and back from work and reporting myself and what I am up to in my training. The only time left for me would be the weekends and of course it would past just like the speed of lightning without realizing. Sometimes, I just wish to have more time, for myself and quality time with mom, dad, sis and bro. I've even reduced my daily jog and workouts :o Hope I won't gained that much weight after all. For now, I am slowly trying to adapt back to a normal eating lifestyle but of course in a smaller portion. In this past few months, I think and maybe the people around me thought that I have some eating disorders as a consequences of going too far in my weight loss thingy. Eventually, I realize how it has taken me too far emotionally and pshycologically. Thankfully, I manage to slowly realize that my body could not sustain in long term being in this way as there were some pre-signs showing that I'm not fine and how my health has been affected. Now, I just tell myself that is ok to gain a little weight and it won't be that excess after all, as long as I'm healthy for the coming days in my life.

Post-Exam

This semester was a really different experience for me, in fact for most of us. For me, is completely different..maybe not just the stress I got from the worried that I might not be able to cope at all, well, there were too much personal problems involved along the months...ups and downs.. 15th November was our last paper for our 3rd year exam and then bidding farewell to exam as we're not gonna have any exams, tests or quizzes the following semester. Indeed, me and my buddies manage to rayau-rayau around for few days. Hehehe!! We went jalan-jalan in Malacca town for the first 1 and a half day in town..window shopping. The following day we just shoot up to Genting to release off our tension all this while bottled up in ourselves. I guess I need some time off too from everything that happened. Huhuhu..I nearly lost my voice for screaming to the top of my lungs after some thrilling rides in the theme park. =D It was a short-gun plan actually. Initially, we wanted to catch a bus from Malacca to KL and then from KL to Genting. Later on, the plan changed as Az's bf gave her a better and more economical idea to drive up to the skyway station. So the plan go smoothly with 4 of us travel up in Az's kancil (She has a good driving skill and thankful to her and the co-driver, Ms. Salini as well) . The thing that surprised us was that it didn't rain at all throughout our journey..not even in the highway. I guess is our luck for that trip as it's been raining most of the days lately.


~Wakakaka!! The too fast too furious shot??~


~My 2 dear Salu and Az~


~The Malacca River Night View..luv it~


~Az and Yen with a breathtaking view =D~


~Why I hug the tiang???~


~Jonker Street, Malacca~


~Luv the environment~


~Hehe! Jumbo Ride~


~Inside First World Plaza..Christmas Mood..hmmm~


~Classic~


~Peace!!~


~We're besties~


~Az and Yen~


~Chocolates..yummmy..~


~Chocolates..my fave..~



~We're stamped in that clock~


~Woot!!~


~Az, Yen, Salini, Atiqah~


~Preparing ourselves for the 2 revolutions..hehe!~

Poor poor abandoned bloggie...

Pheww....seems like i did it again. I neglected this blog again. Well, exactly a semester since I last posted any updates here. Perhaps, in coming days I'll spend more time blogging =(
After all, the past half 6 months were a really hectic life for me. It is a revolution of 360 degrees change in life for me as well because there were too much things happened. I can't even get a good weekend for the entire half a year and to the extent I have to think of what work to complete each morning I got up. I'm grateful is over now. I'm real thankful and grateful for the blessings that I got along the way all these years...for having a supportive and warm loving family, friends and a smooth flow in my studies. After all, I'll be having 2 weeks break after my final exam and then after, wakakaka...is my internship period. Will be attached to Spansion in Shah Alam for 5 months and I hope everything would be smooth in that interval. Hmm..is so nice to be home again. So so so glad to be able to stay home and live a pampered life for 8 months. Kihkihkih =p

Thursday, June 11, 2009

Quick Updates

Wheww...Nearly neglected this blog again. I promised I won't so just a little late updates and the details would be posted later. Is really a "busy" and yet bored week in fact. Did a lot of things these few days. There's a few topics that i wanted to post it up here but seems to get carried away by the laziness in me :D. Anyway, I've been baking a lot from cakes to cookies to bread and each and everytime there is something wrong with the final product (call it this way because I consider baking is part of manufacturing business as well). Hmm..maybe I still need a lot of experiments, trials and errors to improve on my baking skills. Will be posting on it later. Hihihi. I am really having this bad habit of delaying jobs and it seems that I couldn't change by any means. hmmm.

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Hallmark Channel: Tell us your Biggest Loser Story Contest

The biggest loser challenge has been quite popular lately in the Hallmark Channel. You can see those tips they offered to lose weight through advertisements whenever you are on that channel. Currently they are having this "Tell us your Biggest Loser Story" contest and guess what? I think I'm trying my luck in it. Have a peep here. Those taking part will stand a chance to win US$ 1000 in cash!! Anyway, there's no harm done taking part in that contest although I don't consider myself as the biggest loser. What's the significance of shedding 44 pounds if compared to hundreds living out there who loss more than 100 of pounds? Well, whatever it is, I should be optimistic and send my entry to the website. For me, losing that much weight would be something in my life and is a feel good thing that I should share with the people around me! This contest is just mere for me to test my luck!! *wink* Wish me luck yeah!

Monday, June 1, 2009

My Weight Loss Journey ~ A Life Changing Event

~16th November 2008 in the Eye of Malaysia (left) and 4th May 2009 at home (right)~


~June 2008 dressed for Symphonic Orchestra Night performing for Malacca Governor and 4th May 2009 at home (right)~

~July 2008 at Sarawak Cultural Village (1st), UNIMAS Resource Centre a.k.a library (2nd) and (3rd) in my room the day before I turned 22nd =D~


One typical Saturday morning when I followed mommy to the usual morning market in my former place that I used to stay and I bumped into Mrs. Poh at one of the vegetables stall. Mrs. Poh was my teacher in kindergarten when I was a six year old and she was too, my ex-colleague where I used to work part time after my SPM exam some years ago. The moment she saw me she dare not recognized me until she saw mommy with me by my side and with her eyes widely opened she said “Wow!!! Seriously, are you the girl I used to know? I could hardly recognize you. You looked totally like a different person that I used to know and watched as you grew up from a kid!!” Well, we used to frequently bump into her either in the morning market or night market every week as I grew up from being a child until today.

Being an overweight child from young, I always caught the attention of being slightly bigger size than any other kids in the kindy. This had extended throughout the years in primary school where I’m being teased for being a “fatty” and of course it subconsciously leads to an emotional distress once a while in me. I never had the confidence in me and always had a low, down-to-drain self-esteem. Even my parents and relatives commented on how fat I am and the words commonly from their mouths were like “You are so fat!! Don’t eat so much!! You need to control!! You need to diet!! You don’t look pretty when you are fat!! You can’t fit into nice clothes!!” All those words actually don’t motivate me much in fact it causes more pressure to me and I consumed more food when I’m under stress. Additionally to that, my mom pampered me a lot and she is good at cooking where basically she cooked all my favorite food every meal and everyday. So there goes, my weight never drops, instead it keeps increasing as I grew older. Until once, in my secondary years, when I was in Form 1, I finally drag myself to try a diet which my daddy discovered in one of the local dailies. The diet was a strictly no rice diet and only fruits and vegetables all the while and it lasted about a week or two I think (can’t recall the diet). I did actually lose about 5 kilograms during the 1 or 2 weeks and was kind of happy with it as people commented that I had lost weight. By that time, I weighted 55 kg when I was 13. As the days go, I couldn’t stick to the self-discipline and determination and started to have my meals back and in fact, more and in larger portion. I did actually realized how my size has grown and instilled some “short-term” discipline to go for exercise during school holidays but that mindset never lasted and just slip-off from me.

My weight never dropped and skyrocketed to 70 over kilogram when I was just 17 years old. I just ignored and never weigh myself anymore on the scale and giving myself excuses that I can’t concentrate on my studies if I’m hungry. Besides, I eat more than the required portion to de-stress very often or I can say all the while. The stress is at the peak when I’m in Form Four and Form Five because taking 11 subjects in SPM was never an easy job. I just eat and eat and eat when I felt like, even in the wee hours of morning where I stayed up burning the midnight oil. Regardless of that, I never go for exercise and preferred to spend my free time sleeping all the while. By the time I turned 18, I got and accepted the offer to study in a public university and my weight keep rising because the eating lifestyle over there in the campus is more to oily stuff and two meals of rice a day and the best thing that I enjoyed the most, sleeping after meals and during break in between, before classes. In addition, in the end of year 2005, I was diagnosed with psoriasis, a skin disorder and all the emotional stress and pain had caused me to overeat too. The skin disorder has been under controlled in a year or two after seeking various treatments and I ended up consulting a specialist and then the peak of my weight was at 76 kilogram during my internship period back in year 2007. It went down to around 74 kilogram in my final year diploma course in 2008 where I spent most of my time working in the workshop to complete my final year project and maybe that contributed to a slight drop as I’m dealing with machines and all those machining thingy that make you sweating. The weight issue doesn’t end here whereby by the second half of year 2008, my coursemates and close buddies commented on how overweight and ballooned I looked and they actually expressed their concerns regarding my weight and keep persuading me to lose some weight. Just imagine weighing 75 kilogram with the height of merely 157 cm and that gives a BMI of 30.4 which is duh, OBESE!!!

Finally, the end of year 2008 is significant for me. A lot of events happened during that year and indeed some of it is the turning point of my life. So I finally made up my mind when my one month semester break starts in November 2008, I decided to lose some weight. One of my close buddies actually inspired me a lot. She had lost around 10 kilogram in just a few months period and she successfully achieved it during some semester breaks as well. So I remembered the final fast food that I had was Pizza Hut on November 16 to mark the end of my first examination for my bachelor’s course. A few days after that, I went back for holidays in my hometown and had my final proper meal on the 20th. The next day which is November 21st, I started my planned 5 weeks diet which consists of a strictly no rice (rice is forbidden according to my buddy) that includes jogging and exercising. I started my day with a morning jog in a nearby hill and it started with just 2 rounds of jogging with frequent stops in between as I’m lack of stamina to keep on moving. Then, food for me is like cereal with low-fat milk powder for brunch and a green apple before taking any food. For dinner, there were only vegetables and some lean chicken meat or steamed fish or steamed pumpkin sometimes. After resting a while from dinner, I’ll grab the hula-hoop and start the exercise again for around half and hour while watching some shows on the TV. This has lasted for a week and the result can be seen as I had shed around 1.5 - 2 kg within a week. For the following 4 weeks, I had improved to 3 laps of jogging and with fewer stops in between while the food portion still remains the same. However, I got myself a bigger hoop (2 kg hula-hoop) for exercise at night and some additional time around 45 minutes of hooping too. A month after that, on December 23rd, my weight drop to 69/68 kg and the results can be obviously seen by my friends around me as they noticed I looked a little different. Some of them were inspired by me at the same time they tried to lose weight as well. I’m truly happy about that because my effort is an inspiration to them!

My effort never stops after I lost the pounds although my initial target was to lose about 5 kg only during the semester holidays. I’m determined enough and set my next target weight to drop to 65 kg. By the time I returned from holidays for a new semester, I weight about 67 kg in January and I found myself a new place to jog by a lake near my rented house in Malacca. Initially, for the jogging path of that particular lake, I started off with 5 rounds continuously without stopping for 30 minutes. I stick to eating wholegrain bread and wheat meal crackers and indulge in a cup or two of my favorite teh tarik (addicted to it) for lunch and dinner and lots of vegetables and fruits everyday and of course with the 30-45 minutes of hula-hooping at night. The jogging laps were increased slowly from 5 laps to 8 laps and eventually to 10 -11 laps non-stop for around 40-45 minutes in the same lake every evening without fail. By the way, the reason I did the continuous running is also to increase my stamina so that I'm able to be the baritonist ( A Baritone Saxophone weight around 13 kg) for the orchestra in my uni. By Year 2009 Chinese New Year which falls on January 26th, my weight dropped to 64 kg and was ecstatic as how my relatives commented on how much my weight had dropped and how great I looked when I went back to my parents hometown in Perak (where most of my uncles, aunties and cousins that watched me grew up and add-on stayed). Still, deep within me, it isn’t enough yet and the self-discipline is still in me and I’m determined to lose more and more and targeted to drop to 60 kg. So, I keep myself moving and did the same jogging and exercise daily with the same food intake for over a few months without a single rice intake.

By the end of March 2009, I successfully reach the weight of 60 kg and it seems that I’m too used to the lifestyle already that I could hardly stop myself. Is kind of psychological factor as well when I’m too afraid that I’ll gain my weight back if I stop all the things I did all this while and having my meals back. Therefore, my next aim is to shed to 55 kg and there I go, with the same jogging and exercises daily with the same no-rice diet and more movement and shorten afternoon naps brought me down to 55 kg today. To date is already 27 weeks (6 months and 3 weeks) I’ve been dieting and maintaining the healthy lifestyle. I never thought that I’ll go this far and surprisingly I did. Losing weight is not an overnight task and it takes up a taxing effort and self-determination to continuously never to give up at all. I felt the pain at the very start of all this and at times I felt like just giving up, but thankfully with a bunch of supporting friends, they keep me motivated all the while. At times, I will imagine myself fitting into nice dresses when I am about to give up my jogging laps. There’s no lose without pain and hard effort and I can say that it takes only 30% of sweat to lose those extra pounds and the remaining 70% is definitely the self-discipline and determination instilled in yourself. To sum up, I lost 20 kg in half a year and that brought my current BMI down to 22.3, which is in the NORMAL range. Days were happier for me as well now as I felt more confidence in myself and there’s definitely more clothes for me to fit in easily (likes shopping for clothes) and felt healthier at the same time. Then, I realized that the most important and crucial part in losing weight and maintaining it is self-discipline and determination in oneself like I mentioned earlier. Not to miss is a bunch of supporting families, friends and people by my side that keeps me strong and motivated.

Today, whenever I met people who have not met me for some time, they were actually shocked very very shocked indeed when they saw me and could hardly recognize me as all this while I owned an overweight figure. Some they just ignore by looking at me the first glance and sooner they realized that the person they saw is the person they knew for years but could not recall due to the massive changes.

Well, this posting is just something that I wanted to share for quite some time already but I’ve been really busy with my schedule and hardly find time to write up this. Finally I got the time to write something and shared with you guys due to the ultra-cool semester break I’m having now. Hope my weight loss story would be a great inspiration for those who want to shed the pounds and I just feel good to be able to share this and help others. *cheers*

The Maiden Post

Finally I start up blogging after my biggie brother in Singapore suggested that I should own a blog and start blogging since I spend most of my time doing nothing and keep complaining that I'm bored. Anyway, I used to have an account at this blog spot thingy but seem the time has eaten it up and I'd forgotten the password already for quite some time. Besides, I have been meaning to launch a blog for quite a while and been delaying it due to the busy and rough days I had during my second year of studies in uni. This is something that I wanted to do long ago and this time around I hope I'm serious about blogging and will try to keep it up to date and never abandon it just like I did in the previous "lost blog" that I had.

Well, to start the ball rolling, perhaps I should just do some ice-breaking about myself. I'm a "just turn" 22 year old young Malaysian who is currently pursuing a bachelor's degree in Universiti Teknikal Malaysia Melaka (UTeM) majoring in Industrial Engineering. For those who are still space out about UTeM, UTeM is actually one of Malaysia's Public University located in Malacca. It offers technical courses and this uni is on the way of becoming established since is still new and still halfway in a temporary going-to-shift campus. Will be posting more on UTeM later and all I could say that studying in UTeM is totally an eye-opening, ermm..."skill-opening" experience for me throughout my entire 4 years here. Okay. Enough about UTeM for now, will be back to blog on it.

Coming back to me, I'm actually into my second year of bachelor's degree after graduating my diploma in the same uni. Life have been full of ups and downs for me lately as dealing with all sorts of problems that include my personal life and studies at the same time as well. Somehow, I hope the dark clouds that lingers around in my sky all this while would soon be blown far away by wind. Things have since improved as I'm having a long semester break now and there's ample of time for me to recover from all the stress and emotional tense and of course, there's heaps of good quality time to relax and spend with loved ones. In addition to that, I had reach my aim to lose weight whereby those weight I had, that's been sticking to me since childhood and throughout my teenage years. Will be posting my weight loss story, something that I wanted to share since the success of me shedding all the pounds. I love it when I can actually inspire other s and help them at the same time. Personally, I called it a "feel good" factor of my life!! Hehe!